To Understand is a Frightful Thing
by shaman3
Summary: Colin had previously made the excuse that he admired Link because of his valor and his compassion. Now, though, Colin finally comprehended that this attention to Link was much stronger than admiration." Colin/Link.


When Colin's father told him about the young man who lived just outside Ordon Village, Colin didn't think much of it at the time.

"I want you to grow up to be like him," his dad said.

The next day, Colin's mother asked him to deliver a pie to the man, to which Colin immediately argued, "But I don't even know him!"

Colin's mom just smiled patiently, handed him the pie, and said, "His name is Link."

Colin was not a rebellious child, but he hid frustrations within him—if he had any frustrations at all. Carrying the pie in his tiny hands, Colin bit his lip, furrowed his eyebrows, and trudged to the outskirts of the town. As soon as he stepped past the gate, Colin jumped at the sound of a pellet striking a target.

Link had sharp, blue eyes and pink lips which pouted out slightly in concentration. His shirt was lost somewhere on the ground, and his chest was shining with sweat. His arms rippled with muscles, and his calloused fingers held another pellet tight against the slingshot before he shot the pellet straight into the center of a target.

"Wow," Colin blurted.

Link swiveled to look at Colin, and Colin instantly felt blood rise to his cheeks as he averted his eyes. He shuffled forward and held the pie up in shaking hands.

"M-my mom wanted me to give th-this to you," Colin sputtered, still looking away.

The pie left his hands, but Link said nothing, which made Colin glance up to see if something was wrong. But all he saw was Link smile softly and nod to Colin.

Colin gulped and scattered away.

-------------------

Now Colin went to visit Link every week to deliver goods or crafts made by his parents. Colin loved visiting Link, even though Link didn't say anything. He didn't know whether Link never learned how to talk or if he had been traumatized in his childhood. Whatever the case, nobody asked and nobody cared.

Although Link didn't use his vocal cords to talk, he still had a way of talking through his eyes and his body. When he'd just come back from training in the woods, his walk had a slight gait to it and his smile was crooked and tired. When he was grateful, his blue eyes sparkled and his smile was toothy with perfect white teeth. Colin loved Link's quietness and his simplicity, and he did want to grow up to be like Link.

Link became Colin's second friend after Ilia, since the other kids seemed to either ignore him or pick on him. What's even more is that Link defended Colin or shooed the others away when they poked fun at him. Link was Colin's big brother and his best friend.

Standing in the pond with Link and Ilia was far too magical than Colin wanted to believe. The light which bounced off the pond hit Link's face and lit it up so well that Colin couldn't help but stare. And when Link glanced at Colin and smiled softly, Colin's heart back-flipped into his throat so that Colin lost all sense of speaking.

Just moments after Colin shared that surreal moment with Link, Colin was knocked out and scooped up by the beasts. When he and the other children (minus Ilia) came to after being dropped off at Kakariko Village, the first thing Colin thought was, oh great, he was stuck with the kids in his village who hated him. Then he looked around for Link and almost whimpered like a little girl when he couldn't find him. And when the invisible insects started sparkling and scuttling around, Colin prayed and prayed for Link to come and save them all. Link had always been there before—Link with his strong arms and his calloused fingers and the way he lightly pouted his lips when he concentrated. The other kids ignored him at first when he promised that Link would come, but Colin kept believing, hoping, wishing.

One side of Colin thought that he should be brave while waiting for Link. The other side doubted Link coming to rescue them at all and thought it was all over. Instead of choosing between 2 sides of himself, Colin compromised by believing in Link but not being brave. He made the excuse that he didn't know how to be brave, that he was too young to face dangers head-on like Link could so easily do.

After a while, every time Colin and the other kids shivered with fear, Colin reminded them that Link would come, and everyone's shivers slowly died down so that they could breathe again. Colin recited stories about Link, and the others exchanged similar stories. Link was the only way Colin and the others could relate and get along: another thing Colin owed Link.

Then, out of the blue, the dense twilight fog around the village vanished. Colin and the kids stopped shivering and regained their composure.

"What happened?" Beth quipped.

Talo said, "I don't know."

But Colin knew. Colin could feel that Link was near.

"Caution, children. There may still be beasts lurking outside," Renado warned.

But this time, Colin was the one to whine and complain, not Beth or Talo.

"_Someone_ killed the darkness around us, and they're telling us that it's okay to come out now!"

"Colin, you do not know that for sure."

"I do! I do know! I can feel it!"

Before Renado could grab him, Colin rushed to the door and swung it open.

And sure enough, there stood Link. In some dashing new hero's garb.

Already knowing that Link was outside didn't stop the happiness from gushing into Colin's heart and a giant smile blooming on his face when he saw him. Colin felt like the world was finally right.

Of course, the other kids pushed him out of the way to see Link, but he didn't care. When Colin looked up, he saw that Link vaguely smiled at Beth and Malo but his gaze returned to Colin sprawled on the ground. Colin grinned, jumped up, and ran to join the other kids surrounding Link.

When Renado and Malo started describing what the twilight fog had been like, Colin looked straight into Link's blue eyes and said, "It was like a terrible dream and we couldn't wake up."

And the look on Link's face said he understood.

As soon as the kids sent Link to Ordon Village to tell their parents they were fine, the beasts came again. Colin watched as Talo sprinted away from a shocked-still Beth, and Colin instinctively tried to run for it, but his feet stopped him and his brain reminded him of Link, of Link who always tried his hardest to help anyone in need, no matter the danger, no matter the consequences.

Beth needed a savior right now. She needed Link.

"I want you to grow up to be like him."

Colin ran to Beth. He shoved her out of the way and then stared firmly for half a second into the red eyes of the great beast and his warrior boar being deftly knocked out.

When Colin came to, all he saw was Link—first looking worried and then looking relived with a tired smile. The cuts and scars and bruises on Colin's body made Colin want to moan and groan, but all he could think about was Link in front of him, so close to him. Colin wanted to tell Link how beautiful he looked, and he probably would have if he hadn't seen all the others watching him.

Colin had previously made the excuse that he admired Link because of his valor and his compassion. Now, in Link's arms and staring at Link's blue, blue eyes above him, Colin finally comprehended that this attention to Link was much stronger than admiration.

"I … I think I finally understand."

Link looked slightly confused but still attentive. When Colin realized he had spoken out loud, he quickly changed the subject.

"I understand what my dad meant when he told me I needed to be stronger like you, Link.…"

Colin lifted his arm next to Link's face. Confused, Link stared at Colin's arm, waiting. Colin fisted his hand to stop him from digging his fingertips into Link's hair and pulling him down closer to him.

"He wasn't talking about strength, like lifting stuff. He was talking about being brave…."

Colin let his arm drop, and he looked at Link. He looked at Link and saw a warrior and a brother and a lover.

"Link … you saved me, didn't you?"

Link didn't flinch; he just stared at Colin blankly. Perhaps he didn't want to admit his strength. Colin respected his modesty—and thought it was cute. Colin placed his entire faith and trust in him.

"You can do something to help the Gorons in the mine, too, can't you, Link?"

When Link closed his eyes and nodded, Colin believed him. Link wasn't the kind of person to make false promises or let people down. He cared about everyone, whether he agreed with their moral beliefs or not. And this absolute trust in Link allowed Colin to let go and fall into the warm, dark abyss in the back of his mind.

--------------

When Colin next woke up, Luda was changing the wet towel on his forehead. Her thick eyebrows raised in surprise when she saw Colin's blue eyes.

"Colin," Luda whispered. "You're awake. How are you feeling?"

Colin just glanced around the room and said, "Where's Link?"

"He's gone to help the Gorons."

"Oh."

Luda smiled. "He tried to visit you before he left, but Beth and Malo promised him that they'd take care of you and didn't let him see you."

A burst of anger flared through Colin, but it died away as quickly as it came.

Luda leaned forward in the chair beside the bed and said, "Would you like a glass of water while Father and I make you some soup?"

"Sure, Luda, that'd be great."

Luda handed him a glass of water, but Colin couldn't sit up without his head spinning, and he couldn't drink laying down without his hand shaking.

"Perhaps I can help you, Colin," Luda suggested.

In the end, Colin lay back as Luda carefully poured the water past Colin's lips. Colin watched the glass, and Luda watched Colin. After she stopped pouring and wiped Colin's bottom lip with a small towel, Luda stared at Colin's lips and then looked deep into Colin's eyes with such emotion that it left Colin speechless and dumbfounded, so much so that Colin completely missed Luda's departure to get the soup.

The look on Luda's face had shocked him. He didn't know a look of passion was as intense as that. Colin realized he probably looked at Link like that all the time, and he hoped Link didn't get that feeling of fear and shock that Colin had gotten from Luda. No, Link always looked calm or happy. Maybe he was just very reserved. Maybe he knew that Colin adored him. Maybe he didn't want to protect Colin at all but he knew it was his duty as a warrior to protect everyone who needed protecting.

Colin waited for Link to come back so that he could ask him.

--------------

Link didn't come back for an hour, and within that hour, Colin was determined to get better. Luda and Beth tended him, and Talo helped him relearn how to walk. The great beast had injured his legs and his arms so badly that every joint in his body ached when he tried to walk, but Colin wanted Link to see that he was a strong boy, so he tried to get healthy as quickly as possible.

Luda and Beth helped Colin get around the house, but Colin needed everyone to help him get _out_ of the house. When Colin looked up—breathless and aching—once his feet set on the dusty ground outside, he saw Link standing in the spring, peering up at some invisible god. Colin gasped, and Link turned to look at him.

Colin gulped.

Luda gently pushed him forward, and Colin took one, two steps, and then collapsed. Link immediately rushed over and gripped Colin's shoulders, and Link was so warm and he was sweating from fixing the mines and helping the Gorons in the volcano, and his scent was so strong that Colin had to close his eyes.

Colin looked up into Link's sparkling blue eyes and said, "Ilia."

Link was surprised. Colin looked away and forced himself to keep talking. "Link … Ilia … You've got to save Ilia."

Colin got up and felt strange for looking _down_ at Link when he was usually looking up at him. Colin couldn't tell him. He couldn't tell Link that his eyes made Colin lost and his heart made Colin melt. He didn't know what Link's reaction would be—and he was scared.

Link misinterpreted Colin's abrupt standing as confidence, and he smiled and stood up as well. This disappointed Colin, but he just kept talking.

"Link … see? I … I'm fine now."

Colin swallowed hard.

"Remember what I told you back in Ordon, Link? When I grow up, I'm going to be just like you, Link! So you don't have to worry about me anymore! Go help Ilia!"

Why did it hurt to conceal these feelings? Colin had had crushes on girls before, but never had it felt like this.

Link's smile faltered. He looked at Colin and he knew something was wrong. But he just moved out and left Kakariko to tackle the next obstacle in saving the world from the threatening twilight.

------------------

That night, Colin curled up in his hotel bed and bawled. He felt weak. How could Link ever care about Colin the same way Colin cared about Link? Link had better and bigger friends to like besides Colin.

He felt so alone. So weak and lonely.

Link didn't come back for a week, and in that time, Colin worked and worked his body to heal quickly. Ever since Colin had stood up to the beasts, Beth and Talo treated him differently, and Colin himself even felt different. He decided to drop his feelings for Link, because that was the old Colin who needed a guardian and a protector, but this was the new Colin who could take care of himself.

Colin's attempt to extinguish his feelings was going well until a week later, Talo called out from his watchtower that Link had returned. Without thinking, Colin rushed out of the hotel and leaned over the railing of the porch.

In a split second, all the feelings Colin had tried to push down were back again, surging through his veins. Link, with his dampened hair, was riding on Epona with such ease and grace that made Colin shiver. He wanted to get close to Link's body, he wanted to feel it move beside him—

Who the hell was that woman driving the wagon behind Link?

The excitement within Colin dropped, and his eyes darkened. He was sad, but a blackness in his chest stopped him from being completely sorrowful; when he looked at this woman, he couldn't help but want to throttle her.

Link nodded at Colin and then pulled on Epona's reigns and hopped off his horse. He and the woman rounded about at the rear of the wagon and waited for—_Ilia_ to hop out!

Colin grinned. "Ilia! It's Ilia!"

"Ilia!" Beth exclaimed and ran over to embrace her fellow villager. But Beth skid to a halt when she saw that Ilia was holding a small Zora child. Ilia vaguely glanced at Beth and then followed the woman and Renado inside the hotel.

Link looked up and met his gaze with Colin's. Colin's lips slightly parted, and he walked slowly closer to the stairs of the porch, and Link, in turn, walked quickly up the stairs and stood directly in front of Colin. He placed his hands on Colin's shoulders, squeezed them, and then moved his hands down Colin's arms. Colin closed his eyes and shivered.

"Link, I'm all right," Colin whispered. "I'm fine now. You were gone for a while, and I healed while you were gone."

Link ignored him and dropped to his knees. His calloused fingers and his rough, leather gloves prodded joints and muscles in Colin's legs, and the further up Link's hands moved, the faster Colin's heart beat until finally Colin couldn't resist letting out a quiet whimper.

Link's hands flew off Colin's thigh and his head shot up.

"No!" Colin blurted. "No, that's not why—it doesn't hurt, it's—that's not—"

Link blinked and looked confused. Colin cursed himself. Renado's arrival snapped both Link and Colin back into reality, and all three entered the hotel.

Upstairs, the Zora boy lay in Colin's bed. Link didn't enter the room, so neither did Colin. Colin kept stealing glances at Link, and finally Link just turned to face him. Colin, once again entranced by Link's impossibly blue eyes, turned as well. Looking at Link, Colin knew he could say anything he wanted, and Colin wanted to say anything and everything, but he was transfixed and frozen on the spot.

Soon, again, Renado came out of the room and broke their gaze. When Renado told them that the Zora was going to be fine, Colin was overjoyed, which confused him, since he had never known the Zora boy. Link smiled at him like he knew why Colin was happy. Link knew everything. Link was everything.

"I'll stay with him until he's better!" Colin exclaimed. "No matter how long it takes!"

Renado thanked Colin, and he and Link started walking back downstairs. Looking at both their backs, Colin suddenly felt silly. They were both so brave and strong. Why wasn't Colin? Why was he still so weak no matter how hard he tried?

Link must have heard him unconsciously voice his thoughts—or perhaps he just knew in that way of his—because he turned around and looked at Colin. Link stepped towards him, fell to his knees again, and took Colin's soft, baby hands and holding them against his own rough, huge hands. Colin tried to keep quiet this time, so he gulped as he watched Link caress Colin's hand with his own. Link gazed deep into Colin's eyes, suddenly making Colin feel naked and at the mercy of Link's will, and then Link pulled Colin close to him in a tight, warm hug. Colin's eyebrows shot up. He tried to hide his smile in Link's shoulder.

And suddenly Colin understood what Link was trying to say. Colin was courageous, but Link would do the hard work and fight off the demons. He needed Colin to stay at home and tend the victims of the spreading dangers; he needed Colin to be brave and wait for Link. He needed Colin. He needed him.

Colin's heart fluttered.

They walked out of the hotel where Renado was already waiting, and Colin had to ask Link if what Beth said about Ilia was true. Link winced, but Renado was the one who confirmed his suspicions.

"Yes, she has lost her memory, Colin, and regaining it will be no simple task," Renado said. "But it will be all right, child. If we just give her some time, I am certain that Ilia will find her heart again. So, Colin, I'd like to ask you to stay in this village until then. It is our turn to show the courage that you have already displayed."

When Colin heard this, he got excited. This was what Link wanted! This was exactly what Link told him! So Colin beamed and ran inside without looking back. He got so caught up with helping the other kids take care of the Zora boy that when he glanced up at the clock, it was half past eleven, and Link was long gone. But no matter—Colin knew he'd come back soon.

* * *

Colin tended the Zora boy (whose name, he learned, was Ralis) and Ilia with Beth; he helped run both Malo's and Barnes' store; he kept watch over the village with Talo; he cooked meals with Luda and her father. Colin did everything he could to help the villagers, just as Link had done back in Ordon. Colin became a part of everybody and a part of the town.

Colin trained with the Gorons. Even if Link had told him that he was not meant to fight, Colin promised himself that he would get stronger. He would not back down the next time someone threatened him or his friends; he would stand and fight like Link had countlessly done.

At night, Colin dreamed of Link getting hurt and Colin saving him, jumping in front of Link's bruised body and struggling off a hideous boar with his bare hands and his strong legs. Link would look up in awe after Colin finished off the boar, and then Colin would help Link up with a friendly smile. And Link would kiss him so passionately that Colin would be able to hear him say through the kiss and through his lips, "Oh, Colin, thank you, I'm yours forever."

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Days passed. Weeks passed. Ralis was now up and running and swimming and disappearing to visit the graveyard of his lost parents, and finally he left to lead his people. Malo had gathered almost enough money to purchase a store in Market Town. Ilia had memorized every part of Kakariko and almost seemed like her old self again—almost. Colin kept watch every night with Talo, even long after Talo had fallen asleep still holding his slingshot; he kept his eyes glued to the two entrances of Kakariko just in case Link decided to stop by. Colin didn't want to miss any chances he had.

---------------

Colin had another dream of Link, and he woke up crying. Not weeping, but crying silently and sniffing occasionally, because Link hadn't come to visit in over 5 weeks, and he could've been dead out there in this dangerous world that was slowly being eaten by the twilight, and if Link were alive, he obviously didn't care about any of the people in Kakariko anyway. He didn't care about Colin; Colin, who though of him every night; Colin, who tried so hard to be like him; Colin, who would die a thousand times just to see Link again.

Colin heard the door of the hotel open and footsteps climb up toward Colin's room. Colin hoped Renado was just checking to make sure he had turned off all the candles and then he'd go back to sleep, because really, Colin couldn't handle this any longer—

Link peeked through the door.

Colin froze—and then he furiously tried to wipe away his tears. Link wasn't supposed to see him like this! Link was supposed to see him when he was working out or tending someone or helping someone, not when he was crying his heart out because he hadn't seen his protector and his best friend for weeks.

Link gasped and rushed over once he spotted tears down Colin's cheeks and fingers. He set his lantern on the bedside table and then tried to hold Colin's face, but Colin wouldn't let him, he had to be strong, he had to be independent—but Link grabbed his shoulders and shook him. And he gazed into Colin's eyes before he slowly slid off his leather gloves and held Colin's face.

Colin shivered, opened his mouth, closed it, and then started blabbing.

"Link, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm crying, I promised myself I would be strong when you got back, but I was so worried and—"

Link pressed a finger against Colin's lips, tucked Colin's thin blonde hair behind his ears, and then he let go of Colin's face entirely. Colin let out a mewl, but Link didn't leave, he just traced the edge of the bed and then climbed in next to Colin and pulled Colin to him. Colin immediately latched on and buried his face into Link's chest. He let himself be embraced, engulfed, and surrounded by Link's scent.

"I need you, link," Colin whispered. "You're everything to me. I need you."

Link wrapped his other arm around Colin and kissed the top of his head. He pulled Colin closer.


End file.
